a convenient truth

There’s this guy, Ted Kurts, who used to be CEO of Quest Systems. He went very looney.

Now he wants to buy debian.

The Parable of the Languages.

An exerpt:

XML! Exclaimed C++. What are you doing here? You’re not a
programming language.

Tell that to the people who use me, said XML.

I’m considered the savior, the ultimate solution, the final
word. Odes are written to me, flowers strewn at my feet, virgins sacrificed at
my altar.

Programmers speak my name with awe. Companies insist on using
me in all their projects, though they’re not sure why.

And whenever a problem occurs, someone somewhere says, ‘Let’s
use XML”, and miracles occur and my very name has become a talisman against
evil.

And yet, all I am is a simple little markup, from humble
origins. It’s a burden, being XML.

At that XML sighed, and the other languages, moved by its plight
gathered around…

…and tromped that little XML into the dirt. Yes, into the very dirt
at their feet. Basic tromped, and C++ tromped, and Java cleaned and tromped and
cleaned again, and COBOL tried to throw a kick at XML’s head but fell over on
its cane. Even LISP pulled itself out of the pond to throw loopy hands around
XML’s throat, but only managed to choke its ownself.

And each language could be heard to mumble as it tromped and
tromped and tromped, with complete and utter glee:

Have to parse XML, eh? Have to have an XML API, eh? Have to work
with SOAP and XML-RPC and RSS and RDF, eh?

Well parse this, you little markup asshole.

Hubba Hubba Zoot Zoot